Work-life balance with a baby

     
    

     Before giving birth, I thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, and that balancing between personal and family life and work was not a huge deal. When I moved back in to my own house with a newborn for the first time, I had to deal with postpartum blues because of the stress of being a mom for the first time, along with what I experienced from health complications after delivery. Reality has struck me: How was I going to manage when I get back to work? Will I be able to sleep? Will I get my leisure time? How will I handle work? Will I be able to get things done efficiently and effectively at home and at my job? Will I be able to take care of a vulnerable, little creature while still maintaining my sanity and life?
     Well, one thing is certain: you can keep trying to make things perfect, but you won't succeed. The point is not to do things flawlessly, but in fact, to get things at least done somehow otherwise you'll lose your sanity. Don't fret over the tiny details of your life or job and don't live by the book completely. You'll only pull yourself down and sink into anxiety, depression, or whatever mental chaos your mind will take you to, and you definitely don't want that with all the responsibilities you've got as a parent (and even if you're single). This, unfortunately, is what I learned the hard way. I had to deal with four months of postpartum blues before realizing this. Yet, I managed to get over those blues and started doing things differently. 
     So how does one manage to balance between taking care of a baby, doing her job well, and completing house chores and responsibilities? Below are a few things I started doing that helped me achieve a work-life balance (somehow) and so far, I'm quite satisfied with my results:

1) Understand how babies function. Young infants have a special sleep-wake cycle that you need to be aware of. They nap for an hour and a half or two, wake up, eat, play a little, then sleep again. Newborns may nap longer. Once you get to know your baby better, when he or she is likely to nap, for how long, and how much they're likely to stay awake, you'll then be able to organize your time accordingly. Make use of their nap/bedtime to either sleep, rest, or complete your work. When they're awake, give them all your time.

2) Leave your work at work. Always! When I have free time at work, I tend to finish all tasks, including working on my PhD thesis. I never work at home because I barely have time, and I'd rather play with Little Panda, spend time with family, rest or finish house chores.

3) Set a schedule. Write a to-list, or at least know what you have to do, and divide your time wisely. Don't try to be flawless in what you do. Just try to get things done when your baby's asleep. That takes you to point 4.

4) Set priorities. Leave unimportant things till later. Always put your baby and family first. Housework will never end. If you haven't slept well at night then compensate for the lost hours when your baby naps. Don't try to finish your housework if you haven't slept well because when your baby's awake, you can forget about resting. By the time he naps or sleeps again, you'll be exhausted and will probably end up in a bad mood.

5) Spend time with your partner when the baby's asleep. Catch up with what's going on in their lives and at work, or simply enjoy a good meal or snack.

6) Make use of the weekends and holidays. If you cook, you might want to do your grocery shopping and plan on the weekend. Pre-cook and freeze meals, go out with your family, and spend some time caring for yourself. Forget about work for the time being, and focus on just having fun.

7) Don't multitask. That just kills the moment. Instead, live IN the moment. That doesn't mean you can't eat and watch television at the same time, but don't focus on two or more things simultaneously. Enjoy every moment of the task at hand. If you're feeding your baby, stay off the phone. Try to babble with him instead. It's a good way to bond. Likewise, when you're sipping a cup of coffee, really indulge in it rather than do house cleaning at the same time.