How I got over my postpartum blues
When I gave birth, the last thing I expected was to get post-partum blues. However, given the stress and hassles of work and training that I had to endure in my last trimester, my running around to finish house work and chores, and eagerly trying to read and write as much as possible for my thesis, it now makes sense to me that what I experienced from those blues was normal. Oh, and let alone the chronic migraines that I've been experiencing since I've stopped medication and all throughout my pregnancy.
Yes, I was excited about this baby, and of course, I enjoyed cuddling and caring for him all the time, but I spent five weeks at my parents' place because I was physically incapable yet of going back to my daily routines. I found myself in constant pain, poor health, and post-delivery complications.
After going back home, I had ongoing crying spells, a depressed mood, feelings of worthlessness, and on top of all this, a little creature I had to care for. Oh, and let me tell you, nothing seemed to work well with me. I was extremely burdened and distressed, as well as guilty over any tiny mistake I made, and, not to mention, sleep deprived.
Four months post-partum, I began to realize that it was my thinking that was illogical, in fact, and not my inability to get everything done in one day. It was actually normal to feel a bit depressed after delivery, and also perfectly normal not to sleep well the first month or so and not get things done flawlessly. I decided I needed to change my way of thinking, as well as take it easy on myself. I needed to re-gain control over my life and turn things around. A few changes needed to be made.
Here's what I did to make it work for me, and what I advise many women going through postpartum depression or are about to go into labor to do:
1- Identify your maladaptive, automatic thoughts. These can be "I can't do anything right", "I'm useless", "Nobody's helping enough", and so on... Once you identify your negative thoughts, you're halfway through. You can then stop them as soon as they emerge and attempt to modify them.
2- Know that this is a phase that will last. Be optimistic. This isn't something that's going to last forever. You're going through hormonal changes, and this is only typical. Also, you're not yet accustomed to being a family of three, and there are lots of changes that are taking place. You will need some time to adjust. Both of you. For this, I have to give credit to my friend, Hasnaa, who opened my eyes and heart.
3- Surround yourself with people. You'll need as much company as you can get. Boredom is a killer, and it's a catalyst for your melancholy state.
4- Ask for help. Don't be shy or afraid. Be rational. You can't get things done on your own with a newborn present. You'll need assistance. Ask your mom, sister, husband, or even your friends. The more help you can get, the more time you'll have for yourself, and more "me-time" automatically equals a better mood.
5- Sleep when the baby's sleeping. I wish I had done that earlier. I used to worry about unfinished housework. What if someone comes over and the house is untidy or not completely clean, dishes are undone, and clothes are stacked on - not in - the washing machine? Who exactly cares? Get rid of that Lebanese mentality. It'll only enervate you more. You need to sleep, and yet, you can't make a newborn sleep through the night. Therefore, you'll need to compensate for lost sleeping night hours during the day.
6- Do something meaningful. Work. Do something. Fill your time with pleasurable, meaningful activities that unwind and invigorate you. Be generative. Going back to work was what brought back my vitality. I felt worthy and useful once again.
7- Bond with the baby. As much as you can, cuddle, talk to, and play with that little baby. Minor activities with the baby will help the two of you bond, and that's beneficial for both of you.
8-Exercise. There's no need to hit the gym if you don't have time for that. I brought all the equipment needed home. However, there's no need for that either. You can simply go for a walk or jog, or have a swim. Exercise releases endorphins, which uplift your mood. An added benefit is that it will get you back in shape.
9- Nurture your relationship. Spend some time with your partner. You might want to ask someone to babysit. You can even do the things you previously enjoyed when the baby's asleep. Have a romantic dinner, watch a movie at home, or have some treats together. Let each other know that the relationship is still alive and dynamic.
10- Get some "me-time". Whenever you have some free time and feel that you don't want to sleep, do something you enjoy. Have an at-home facial, enjoy a bubble bath, or read a book. Whatever makes you happy, then do it.
These are the things I did to get back to my previous state and enhance my mood. What are yours? Did you experience postpartum blues? What would you add to this list?
Yes, I was excited about this baby, and of course, I enjoyed cuddling and caring for him all the time, but I spent five weeks at my parents' place because I was physically incapable yet of going back to my daily routines. I found myself in constant pain, poor health, and post-delivery complications.
After going back home, I had ongoing crying spells, a depressed mood, feelings of worthlessness, and on top of all this, a little creature I had to care for. Oh, and let me tell you, nothing seemed to work well with me. I was extremely burdened and distressed, as well as guilty over any tiny mistake I made, and, not to mention, sleep deprived.
Four months post-partum, I began to realize that it was my thinking that was illogical, in fact, and not my inability to get everything done in one day. It was actually normal to feel a bit depressed after delivery, and also perfectly normal not to sleep well the first month or so and not get things done flawlessly. I decided I needed to change my way of thinking, as well as take it easy on myself. I needed to re-gain control over my life and turn things around. A few changes needed to be made.
Here's what I did to make it work for me, and what I advise many women going through postpartum depression or are about to go into labor to do:
1- Identify your maladaptive, automatic thoughts. These can be "I can't do anything right", "I'm useless", "Nobody's helping enough", and so on... Once you identify your negative thoughts, you're halfway through. You can then stop them as soon as they emerge and attempt to modify them.
2- Know that this is a phase that will last. Be optimistic. This isn't something that's going to last forever. You're going through hormonal changes, and this is only typical. Also, you're not yet accustomed to being a family of three, and there are lots of changes that are taking place. You will need some time to adjust. Both of you. For this, I have to give credit to my friend, Hasnaa, who opened my eyes and heart.
3- Surround yourself with people. You'll need as much company as you can get. Boredom is a killer, and it's a catalyst for your melancholy state.
4- Ask for help. Don't be shy or afraid. Be rational. You can't get things done on your own with a newborn present. You'll need assistance. Ask your mom, sister, husband, or even your friends. The more help you can get, the more time you'll have for yourself, and more "me-time" automatically equals a better mood.
5- Sleep when the baby's sleeping. I wish I had done that earlier. I used to worry about unfinished housework. What if someone comes over and the house is untidy or not completely clean, dishes are undone, and clothes are stacked on - not in - the washing machine? Who exactly cares? Get rid of that Lebanese mentality. It'll only enervate you more. You need to sleep, and yet, you can't make a newborn sleep through the night. Therefore, you'll need to compensate for lost sleeping night hours during the day.
6- Do something meaningful. Work. Do something. Fill your time with pleasurable, meaningful activities that unwind and invigorate you. Be generative. Going back to work was what brought back my vitality. I felt worthy and useful once again.
7- Bond with the baby. As much as you can, cuddle, talk to, and play with that little baby. Minor activities with the baby will help the two of you bond, and that's beneficial for both of you.
8-Exercise. There's no need to hit the gym if you don't have time for that. I brought all the equipment needed home. However, there's no need for that either. You can simply go for a walk or jog, or have a swim. Exercise releases endorphins, which uplift your mood. An added benefit is that it will get you back in shape.
9- Nurture your relationship. Spend some time with your partner. You might want to ask someone to babysit. You can even do the things you previously enjoyed when the baby's asleep. Have a romantic dinner, watch a movie at home, or have some treats together. Let each other know that the relationship is still alive and dynamic.
10- Get some "me-time". Whenever you have some free time and feel that you don't want to sleep, do something you enjoy. Have an at-home facial, enjoy a bubble bath, or read a book. Whatever makes you happy, then do it.
These are the things I did to get back to my previous state and enhance my mood. What are yours? Did you experience postpartum blues? What would you add to this list?
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