Encouraging baby independence

     At eight months, babies have got quite some personality already, and are probably fighting for independence. They want your reassurance but also want to enjoy a bit of freedom now that they're mobile. They want the independence but are not quite old enough to know how to handle it, and this can make you fall into power struggles with them. You rush to stop them from falling, tumbling over, hurting themselves, and to keep them safe. 

     It happens with everyone but is especially true for new parents. You're worried they might fall or injure themselves, and you're not sure if you're alright with letting them experiment with things on their own. You're excited about buying them new toys but are frustrated when they don't follow your lead on how to use those toys, and when they would much rather put them in their mouths, throw them on the floor, rattle, shake, or bang them. Yet, this is how babies learn to be independent and you stopping them from being mobile or even initiating play for them is not helping at all.

     There are many things one can do to encourage independence in their growing infants. Some things I've found helpful are the following: 

1) I created a safe environment. He's just learning to crawl but hasn't yet completely mastered it. However, he keeps trying and often slides on his tummy and is very mobile. I have a soft, fluffy rug on the carpet he sits on to ensure he doesn't hurt himself if he tumbles over when he's sitting. Moreover, I've placed corner cushions on the corners of tables to avoid head injuries for when he starts to stand. In his room, I've placed a printed activity mat as well so he doesn't hurt himself if he tumbles over. This way, I feel relaxed when he's being  mobile on his own (I will discuss house safety in another post).

2) I never lead the play. There are a few games we enjoy together, but I sometimes like to let him play on his own or initiate his own way of playing a game so he can discover how to use his toys on his own, or to identify different uses for them. This fosters his creativity and problem solving skills. 

3) I follow his lead. Some days, he just wants to be held, cuddled, and not let down. Other days, he refuses to be restrained. Even during the same day, there are times when he is more energetic and wants to move around and play, and other times when he prefers sitting and watching television with me. I never force him to be independent if he wants to be close. 

4) I don't problem-solve for him. He's always busy learning how to get hold of things, climb over them, and reach them. Even when he's unable to reach his goals, I never make it so easy for him and give him what he wants immediately. Rather, I let him keep trying. I only help him when he gets tired, upset, or really frustrated. Maximizing reassurance and offering help gradually can help him solve his own problems and reach his goal on his own. 

5) I encourage him to form strong bonds with other caregivers. This will keep him happy and reassured when I leave him. It teaches him to be independent as well as more sociable.